Turning Defensiveness into Growth—A CEO Coach's Guide to Effective Feedback

I understand the critical role feedback plays in leadership. The key to navigating defensiveness, which can often become a roadblock to progress, is not only in how one delivers feedback but also in how one handles the immediate consequences of that delivery.

In the face of defensiveness, it's essential first to reflect on our own approach—our words, tone, and body language. It's about asking the hard question, "When did you start feeling this way?" which can help unveil deeper issues beyond the current feedback. This method encourages a shift in perspective and opens the door to meaningful dialogue.

Remember, validation is not agreement, but it's crucial. Acknowledging someone's feelings without necessarily endorsing their viewpoint can help balance empathy with the necessary drive for performance improvement. It's a dance between human understanding and the enduring imperatives of leadership.

When preparing to give feedback, grounding your insights in tangible examples is non-negotiable. Abstractions and feelings can muddy the waters, while concrete observations provide clarity and a firm foundation for discussion. "Jess, I've noticed you've been less participative during meetings—can we discuss this change?" is infinitely more effective than, "It feels like you're not engaged."

Post-feedback, it's all about accountability and support. Set follow-up meetings, encourage the collection of examples or evidence, and define measurable progress. If the feedback is about lagging participation, a documented increase in contribution can serve as a powerful motivator and a clear indicator of improvement.

Lastly, remember, culture trickles down from the top. As leaders, when we openly seek and gracefully receive feedback, we catalyze a shift in workplace dynamics. Encouraging our teams to do the same, in structured one-on-ones or more informal settings, establishes a mutual environment of growth.

In conclusion, leaders can drive growth and improvement by seeking feedback on their feedback. It demonstrates a commitment to self-improvement and serves as an exemplar to their teams. Continuous refinement in the art of feedback can forge a path to a more responsive, collaborative, and ultimately, high-performing work culture.

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Navigating the nuances of defensiveness in feedback is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to effective leadership. If you've faced similar challenges or have your insights, connect with me. Let's broaden this conversation and continue learning from each other.

Lovingly Honest,

Sassy Cassie